Wow. And what a ride it has been. This is a reflection I’m starting to enjoy, and funny enough I’m rather reflecting when it’s Emily’s birthday than on my own. This is what defined the year.
There is more love when new kids arrive. I always thought that my parents had to divide their hearts into more pieces with more kids. And that there was less love for each kid. Now Romy has joined the family last September, I can joyfully laugh at that thought. Your heart is just like a pie that grows with new kids. There’s even more love to give, the pie grew.
Going slower isn’t going faster. Going fast was never the goal. I always wanted to grow, improve, become harder, better, faster, stronger. But this year has left me with the utmost appreciation for going slow. Life isn’t about getting to the end faster, because we all know what that end is. Going slow is one of the virtues of life, and especially when you enjoy being around your learning kids.
A power and attention bucket. I’ve learnt that kids (people) only need 2 things in life: The feeling that they belong and the feeling that they have significance. Kids, therefore, crave attention and decision making. And they will get that, with good or bad behaviour. The metaphor of a bucket with drops applies here; any bad behavior is your lacking of filling the bucket with attention or power ‘drops’ for and with them. Do your duty, and ‘good’ behavior occurs like magic. Providing power and attention are the start of leadership (in any context).
Moments don’t come back. The purpose of a memory for your brain, is to trick you into safety. And I think that’s OK. But photographing like paparazzi with your phone isn’t the solution for creating memories. It’s enjoying the moment in the moment that’s so valuable. And you can do that by sensing, seeing, smelling, listening, tasting.
“It’s late in the evening, and I have Norah Jones jazz-music in the background. I’m sitting on a rocking chair. My 5 months old baby is lying, curled up in my arms, with her eyes closed. I’m feeding her a bottle of warm milk, thinking about her future, but also about her eyebrows, skin, her soft little hairs. There’s no world around me. It’s just her and me, and the soft sounds of her swallowing the milk. And Norah Jones singing “you’ll be on my mind forever”
Now that’s a picture, isn’t it?
Purpose is the path. I always had the idea that there was sort of a magic mission, purpose or goal or something on earth. But, different from what I felt earlier, I now think that making the best of every day, serving, teaching and learning from my loved ones, being an integer person and going through life with bliss; is a wonderful reason to rise every single day.