Shame and games

The last couple of days I’m experiencing a strong shift in the parent-kids relationship in our home.

We parents think that if we aren’t directive from the early youth, the kids won’t understand nor accept our superiority.

The thing is. They will obey, always. But at what cost?

I discovered (through a parenting workshop) that it’s important to spend 60-70% of your together time in THEIR world.

We are all bossy parents. We’re correcting and pointing the finger for 60-70 or more percent of the time.

But that’s not working. Because kids have the need for belonging and significance.

They have an attention (belonging) and power (significance) bucket. And it will get filled. If not good, than with bad behaviour.

So when I play, when we play, the little one is so much more inclined to do what I want.

When I game, instead of shame.

What a world it is. And probably there’s a lesson in here for leadership in the broadest sense…

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