My friend asks me something in a private chat. And because this personal message is so serious – it’s a question about one of my messages (a joke) in a ‘group’-chat -, I feel personally involved. However, I completely disengage from this friend not understanding me. And my first emotional response is to share this message with someone else (screenshot, share in other chat) who knows either him and me, to complain/laugh about this. And I’m screenshotting, ready to share.
But I don’t.
I go against my gut and don’t share this message.
You know, I don’t like messaging apps because it’s impossible to share real emotion unless you share a voice message or video message. I like personal communication: face2face, call, video call, or even video/audio messages. But most people stick to using it in an old-fashioned way: sending text + emoji in (group)chats and misunderstand each other frequently and frustrate about that often.
So this friend sends me this message.
But, what happens now is I realize that this process of disengaging is happening. And I find some integrity in myself. And I reply to this friend, as I would like to be replied to myself. I explain my joke thoroughly, to some time later find him understanding the message and the joke.
Now if you’re curious how I felt then, you should just try out the same sometime. It’s a warm rewarding inner feeling.