Wow, and time has flown.
Today it’s Emily’s birthday! She already knows how to put up 2 fingers and show that she’s 2 years old… She also knows how to say ‘no’ at every idea I have, to say ‘poo’ instead of ‘peanut butter’ on her bread.
From zero to one was beautiful and a challenge.
From one to two was pure magic.
Last year Emily has learnt to walk, improve her vocabulary from 3 to 500 words (!), make sentences of 10 words and converse with other kids and adults. She has learnt to intensely hug and kiss. Make jokes. Dance. Blow out candles. Blow bubbles! Ask questions (for example her favorite songs).
As a father that want to get the best out of myself, parenthood and my baby girl, I’m reflecting on last year as a father.
Last year was a year of reinvention of patience. Most easily I can explain this by giving an example: sometimes you have to choose at 5:30AM if you want a fight (that you WILL lose and give her her way) ór if you want to change a leaked diaper full of poop during 20 minutes instead of one, because the little one has other opinions about taking off clothes, diapers, wipes, the place where to change the diaper and her favorite stuffed animal. Patience helps, a LOT.
But also I have discovered new ways of leadership as well. Leading a kiddo has just subtle differences with leading adults. I found that if you make the WHY very clear, there is never a discussion. So if your team (read kiddo) doesn’t understand the WHY (and thus the goal) – that you’re achieving together – she just ignores you, and has a million other things to learn and perform. Talking, being honest and explaining the why helps, a LOT.
Next to that, I found more peace, gratitude and play (being mindful?) in myself, if I share this with her. If Emily is wel, I am well. And if she enjoys the play, I enjoy the play. We raise Emily a digital minimalist for now, and we more and more discover that she improves some social skills (like empathy, connection, understanding) faster than her peers. Might be a coincidence, but I found that giving her undivided attention for a couple of hours per day seems to grow her so fast. If we’re not distracted, we can teach her better. You can read another piece on this I have just published last week. And you know what, this mindfulness spreads through the rest of my day and activities and improves them badly…
And planning has risen to new heights. I just found out the last months of the year that deep ownership of the planning is so important. Everything that I want to do or see differently in my life is necessary to plan and do. I always thought planning was the key to a life full of mandatory stuff. I hate ‘mandatory stuff’. But I have discovered that planning combined with deep ownership is one of the keys to freedom. Everything in life you either want or don’t want: that’s a decision. Making better decisions and living up to them is another key to great parenting and great life.
So these are my main learnings, but there’s more, so much more. Just follow the daily posts and subscribe if you’re interested.